Am I going Mad.....I dont know how to make a sandwich

Every thing hurt today, in fact I felt that I had been run over by some thing very heavy, even the tips of my fingers hurt. My head felt hazy, my thoughts seem to be shrouded in cotton wool. All I wanted to do was go back to bed,but I never liked letting down the nursing home where I worked.

I had to get a move on,so I got out the things to make a sandwich for my lunch.

Standing there looking down at the bread,butter, cheese and pickle which I had got out only 2 minutes ago, I couldn't remember what I was doing or even what the things were for.
My husband came into the kitchen and said making a sandwich for lunch? I replied "I don't know", he looked at me quizzically are you ok ?, muttering "I said what am I doing" he just laughed, good one he replied and walked off.
We were always having weird jokes so he thought no more of it.

All the things were just left there on the kitchen top and I hurried to work.

We always had a nurses hand over in the office where we were given information from the previous shift and our patients for the day and what we needed to do, it wasn't till about 10 minutes after that I realized I couldn't remember a word of what was said.
In fact the whole place looked well strange to me, as tho I didn't know where anything was.
Suddenly a pain shot thru my head like no other pain I had ever felt, everything turned black apart from what can only be described as rainbow prism ribbons of light.
I could here voices but didn't understand what the were saying, I had never been so frightened in all my life.


Quickly rushed to the Dr's, I then was sent to the hospital and had a raft of tests done, they even thought I might have a brain tumor.

After every test was exhausted,i saw another Dr who recognised the signs it was Myalgic Encephalopathy M.E. for short.


Within 3 months I was confined to bed, I couldn't get up, go to toilet on my own,wash, talk or hear properly, I couldn't read, I couldn't understand anything couldn't bear any noise or bright light

My Life before M.E

What a week end that was 12 years ago, funny how I could remember every thing that happened when my memory is so bad now.

I had a new start, a wonderful husband and 3 beautiful children a lovely house, part of the downstairs was our shop in which we both worked.
friends and family what more could one want .

The Grocery shop we owned had been very busy, on the Sunday it was only open till 1.00, then I would go with my husband on his 2nd job, coach driving we would get home at 10.30pm, it was a long and tiring day, but, the beautiful weather had made it a pleasurable day.
We had walked hand in hand along the promenade for miles, the sea sparkled with the brilliance of diamonds in the bright sun, it was just a
magical day.

On the Monday I woke up late for my 2nd job, I grabbed my uniform and nurses hat and rushed to the Nursing home.
A Gastric bug was going round the Nursing Home and a lack of staff turned into a miserable day.
Unusually for me I was glad to get home, I loved my job and would normally not be thrown at all by such outbreaks, in fact I felt "not right" all week.
A week later still not "feeling right" we had our African Holiday filled with Walking, nature, culture, swimming and experiences all the things I truly loved doing.

Little did I know that life as I had known it would come to an abrupt end.

M.E. strikes next post.........